Nine Lives
by Stormshadow3
Summary: (Complete. Old but decent.) Only rarely do we think of the cats who gave the lives they did.
1. Mommy, Don't Leave Me

**This is a ten-chapter story that I will be doing over the course of... oh, I don't know. Ten days? Probably more.**

I gazed down at the light gray shape that now stood among the mist.

"Icetalon," I purred.

She stared up at me, her clear blue eyes round. "Boulder's Mark!"

"It's me," I reassured. Thin forms, lithe and stealthy, began crawling over the dark rock, stars lining their pelts. "Forestclan is here," I murmured.

"Then it can begin?" Echoecall muttered.

I loosened my muscles, the wind brushing against my shoulders. "Yes."

* * *

I began padding up to the new to-be leader. Icetalon stared up at me with fascination as I lowered my head and touched noses with her.

Memories swirled like fog. I could feel her tension.

 _It was the beginning of our journey. I was just a kit then, walking along with the others even though I was just a moon old._

 _The cold leaf-bare breeze brushed against me as I shouldered closer to my mother. "I'm hungry," I whined._

 _She snarled. "Keep going, or you'll end up like Ground's Dust."_

 _"You always tell me that," I complained. "I can't catch up like this!"_

 _That was when she pushed me. Hard._

 _I fell, shock running through every bone. "Mom!"_

 _"I can't watch another one of my kits die," she muttered. "Get out of my sight."_

 _"But-"_

 _"It's for the best. Please!" Her voice rose in desperation. "We've been traveling for moons. Ground's Dust died. Fern's Leaf died. You're the only one left, and now you're going to die too, I can feel it." She suddenly became quiet. "I can't watch another kit die, Boulder's Mark. Now..." Something in her seemed to change, and she straightened. "You stay here. I'll go get some food, and I'll come back for you, I promise."_

 _My eyes were round. "Promise?"_

 _Her voice shook. "Promise."_

 _She turned and began padding away into the darkness, and I waited._

 _Waited for hours on end, waiting for her familiar black fur to appear out of the dark again. But it never did._

 _She never came back._

* * *

"With this life, I give you love. For your kits, for your clanmates, for yourself," I whispered.

She nodded. "I promise!"

Promises...

I could well remember my mother's last word before she disappeared forever.

Promises...


	2. That Was What I Said

**I'm back! I update pretty fast. XD**

* * *

Icetalon shivered, and I as Boulder's Mark stepped aside, I bowed my head. "Your turn," he muttered.

My eyes became level with hers, her pool-blue lens staring at my amber eyes. "Icetalon."

* * *

 _"Be honest with me, Petalkit." Umbrakit's eyes were accusing, and beneath that a smile of amusement. "Where did you hide the mossba_ _ll?"_

 _I sighed. "I guess there's no hiding from you, then." With a flick of my tail, I stepped aside to reveal a small clump of moss, scratched by tiny claws. "There you go."_

 _My mother shook her head, but I could almost see her smile just out of the corner of her mouth._

 _OoOoO_

 _"Petalpaw!" My mentor's face was grim. "Oakclan is acting strange lately. Do you know anything that might help us with that?"_

 _I shook my head, chewing off the chaffinch's small brown wing. "No. Why do you think I would know anything?"_

 _"Well, Umbrapaw saw you somewhere the Oakclan border yesterday, so just asking if you might have seen something." He shook out his dusty gray pelt. "Nothing big."_

 _"Look, I need to go now," I declared, standing up all of a sudden. "I... Need some fresh air to think."_

 _Frostgleam's left eye raised at me, but without another word, I raced out the camp entrance and out into the forest._

 _Ran. Ran some more._

 _Until a familiar voice sounded from behind me._

 _"Oh, Petalpaw, I was just looking for you."_

 _OoOoO_

 _"Has she learned the skills need to be a warrior, Frostgleam?"_

 _He hesitated for just a fraction of a heartbeat, then nodded. "Yes. Petalpaw is ready."_

 _"Then by the powers of Forestclan," Flightstar announced, "she shall be known as Petalstream. We honor her intelligence and skill, and we welcome her as a full member of Mapleclan."_

 _Our clanmates began cheering, for me and for Umbraclaw, but I felt nothing._

 _Nothing. There was only one cat that I wanted besides me right now._

 _"Sundapple!" I shouted, running into the forest._

 _There was a rustle in the bushes, and a dark shape appeared. "Petalpaw. I knew you'd be here."_

 _"I'm Petalstream now," I purred, rubbing my flank against his bright orange pelt. "I'll always love you."_

 _That was what I said before... The skirmish._

 _The battle._

 _My darling, my beloved..._

* * *

"With this life, I give you loyalty," I murmured. "To your clan."

What had loyalty costed me?


	3. Duel Me One-On-One

**It's been like five days! I GOTTA UPDATE!**

* * *

Icetalon quivered, but managed to stand her ground. I nodded. My turn, finally!

"You're... You're..." She began, but I cut her off. "My name is Redpaw," I said, leaning in closer.

Icetalon frowned. "How come I've never heard of you before?"

That sentence.

It reminded me of my past days... What I used to have...

* * *

 _"Redpaw!" The voice jolted me awake. "What are you doing?"_

 _"Sleeping," I muttered. "What?"_

 _Falconpaw sighed. "It's the final warrior assessment today! Come on! I don't want to be late again..."_

 _I didn't even try to tell her that she has never been late for anything before. "Ugh. Fine, I'm coming!"_

 _OoOoO_

 _"That's the second time you've missed," Falconpaw sneered._

 _I glared at her. "When did you turn so perfect?"_

 _"Oh, since when I was born," she shrugged. "Be glad you have me in your presence."_

 _Rage boiled up inside me, faster and faster every heartbeat. "Oh yeah? Prove to me you're so great."_

 _Her eyes lit up. "Hm... interesting. Perhaps a training event?"_

 _My paws pattered on the ground. "Of course. Then we'll know who's truly the better one."_

 _Falconpaw grinned. "You go first."_

 _I smiled. "Of course, of course." She didn't notice my claws unsheathing, the over-confident expression on my face before it was too late..._

 _OoOoO_

 _Blood was running down my paws. Not my blood._

 _"Redpaw! What are you two doing..." I heard someone call. Panic ran through me like an electric wave._

 _I ran._

 _What did I do, what did I do... I stopped at the edge of a river bank. The river bank that separated us from the other clans... now, separating me from my life... I jumped._

 _That night, I was still there. Near the bottom, sinking._

 _Sinking._

* * *

"With this life, I give you tolerance and honesty," I meowed quietly. "Some things... can destroy you."

The others flashed me a warning look, but I bowed my head and stepped back once more.


	4. I Know What I'm Doing

**Of course. I was bored. There was nothing else to do.**

 **So, I decided to entertain you. Enjoy.**

* * *

I shivered, the cold wind brushing against my pelt. It was only when my fellow clanmates nudged me on the shoulder that I realized that it was my turn.

Icetalon nodded, her paws steady on the ground. "You're holding up pretty well despite the pain," I commented.

"Eh, I'm pretty tough," she mumbled, but I could see that she was trying hard not to blush.

Tough... when had I been tough?

* * *

 _It was a cold winter night, in enemy territory. Just the right scene for my death._

 _"Hurry up!" Stonebird scolded. "Stay together. THEY might see us."_

 _He said the word like it was something a queen would tell her kits, like an imaginary mouse the size of a Twoleg monster, instead of enemies that were a single cat-length away, ready to tear us apart._

 _"Right. I know, I know," I reminded her, my teeth chattering violently with every heartbeat. "Just trying to be stealthy."_

 _"Stealth?" He sneered. "You're practically like a lumbering badger."_

 _I shrugged. "Hey, maybe they'll-"_

 _Shadows fell over us, and claws closed in around us as a flurry of cats, their eyes amber, their pelts reflecting the darkness in the moonshine. Their sharp talons, glowing silver in the night._

 _"Stonebird!" I shrieked as a dark shape pinned me down. "Hel-"_

 _My cry was cut off as fur muffled my mouth, despite my knashing teeth. I tried to scream, and no sound came out. Flashes of white gleamed in the corner of my eyes. Then there was blood. Pain, too. Crimson red, flowing over the grass like a broken river._

 _Just as it seemed my ribs were about to burst, the weight was suddenly... Lifted off. Like it had never been there before._

 _"You came!" I yelled joyfully at Stonebird, but it gradually turned into one of horror as I saw almost a whole clan of warriors approaching from the sides. "We can't last much longer," I wheezed._

 _He glanced around wildly. "But I-"_

 _I shrieked as a large, ginger she-cat landed on top of him and unsheathed her claws, flashing like moonlight. "Say goodbye to your buddy," she hissed._

 _I wanted to help. But more and more enemies were closing in. Couldn't breathe. I stared at the opening behind me. I could just leave now... But Stonebird!_

 _Suddenly, he cried out as claws ran down his throat, and I turned around to run. But it was already too late. Masses of dark shapes drifted in and out of vision. The suffocation. The skies were closing in on me! I screamed._

 _The last I will ever scream._

* * *

"With this life, I give you courage to do what you think is right," I muttered.

The moon was still shining down. Flashing silver.

Those silver claws.


	5. I Have a Quest

**I'm not supposed to be on FFN right now. Heh, I'm sneaking on anyways.**

* * *

Icetalen stepped back, her eyes glazed with pain, but she was one pace away from collapsing. I bowed my head. "It's going to be over soon," I assured.

She groaned. Raised her head, and nothing more.

* * *

 _They were coming._

 _I ran through my own territory as if I was being hunted. Hunted._

 _Wind whipped my face, and branches cackled and swayed in the breeze. I closed my eyes and let my conscious take over. One step forward, another one to the side._

 _Running._

 _Just above me, the stars of the sky glittered coldly. "Tell me you're listening, mother," I murmured. "I've come all the way this far for you..."_

 _But of course there was no answer._

 _OoOoO_

 _Two moons later, and I knew that my whole life has been a life of running away._

 _"I'm on a quest, I'm on a quest," I muttered, but it sounded too much like a plea. "I need to get to that place..."_

 _The honest truth was, I had no idea what I was going, but I wasn't about to give up. Just yet._

 _That was what I kept telling myself, anyways. But I knew that it was hopeless. I was going to die in this cold, desolate place, without ever knowing comfort._

 _I fell down onto the dust._ _But at least I tried..._

 _I didn't know how long I lay there, not moving. But the memories came back to haunt me. Me and my mother, when I was a kit. We were going fishing. Near a sunny stream by a meadow, hunting. I swished my paw around in the water, and she would laugh and say, "that's not how you do it, let me show you..."_

 _Then she just disappeared. Like she was never there._

 _I could see Forestclan rise up before me now. There was figure in the distance, foggy like on a rainy day. Her pelt, gray like my-_

 _My mother! I reached forward, wanting to escape all my worries, my feelings, my life, and burrow forever into her soft fur, but she stepped back._

 _"Mom!" I tried to shriek, but nothing came out._

 _The figure bowed her head. "What would your mother have wanted you to do?"_

 _I didn't answer. Something else flashed. Tears rolled down my face._

 _She leaned forward. "Don't tell me you're crying because you miss me," she scolded._

 _"No," I murmured. "I'm crying because it's not my time yet."_

 _Suddenly, her vision disappeared, and I found myself in the dust again._

 _But this time, I was rising._

 _I still had some fight left in me._

* * *

"With this life, I give you determination," I said, my eyes level with hers.

Her blue lens were dark all of a sudden. "I know," she muttered.

"I know."


	6. I Can Manage Fine

**There's a** **glitch** **so that now I can't see any of the new reviews! Ugh.**

* * *

Icetalon stumbled, almost falling, but leaned forward, anticipating the next life.

"Woah, there," I purred. "It's okay."

She jerked her head up at me. "Wait, what?"

* * *

 _The snow was falling. Down._

 _I was trudging through it. Wind. Cold. Pain. The last memories before my body disappeared down into the snow forever._

 _Suddenly, there was a scuffle. Not of my own footsteps. Something new._

 _Something dangerous._

 _I tried to turn around, but my head was nearly frozen in that place above my neck. The place where I was comforted the most..._

 _Stop it, I scolded myself. Get... Up... So much for a hunting expedition._

 _The sounds were getting louder now. Louder by the heartbeat, but I could barely feel anything. My body parts have all numbed down, and my eyes felt themselves gradually closing. Stop it!_

 _There came another noise. Something coming from the other direction... Was it even more of them? I felt too tired to care. Let them eat me._

 _Then there was fierce hissing, and I finally snapped my head around to see two shapes, bounding... No, fighting! My eyes grew wide. "Boulderpaw!"_

 _My own apprentice... against, what, a whole family of hungry and desperate badgers? I tried to stand, but the snow tripped me and I fell again._

 _There was a bright gleam of claws, and I saw Boulderpaw's triumphant expression turn into one of horror as my face was jammed even further into the snow..._

 _OoOoO_

 _I didn't know where I was._

 _There seemed to be a chasm between me and something I haven't seen in a long time. Light. Faintly glowing, but yes, light._

 _"Where am I?" I muttered._

 _The light at the other end grew smaller and smaller, and I could only stare at it until it was nothing more than a spark..._

 _My eyes flew open to find a gentle face looming over me. "It's okay..."_

* * *

"With this life, I give you mentoring," I mumbled, pronouncing each syllable slowly. "Use it well."

She nodded. Nodded, and nothing more.


	7. Why Do I Still Live?

**Hey. I was kinda busy, so I didn't update anything for a while.**

* * *

She stumbled.

Fell upon the cold, hard ground. Whiskers twitching, tail bent down. I took a step forwards uncertainly, but she groaned and I began taking longer, faster, more determined strides towards her. "Icetalon? Icetalon. It's almost over. Only three more to go."

She looked like she was going to glare at me, but instead shook her head and smiled. "I'm fine, really."

* * *

 _I was with her the day I died._

 _It was evening. Sunset, to be exact. Most surrounded the clans like a thick shroud, but peace was among us. Birds chattered quietly through the branches of trees, and if I could just stop and listen for a moment, it would reveal itself, the twitching and movements of many creatures in the forest._

 _I could almost imagine why the trees were so sacred to the clans._

 _"Icetalon," I started. "It wasn't his fault."_

 _"Right. Not his fault that he left me for you," she said bitterly. "Instead, the blame falls on someone else. Natural of you."_

 _I would have been hurt by her words in earlier times, but I just smiled and nuzzled my head into her chest- regardless of how she had tried to shove me away. "It's okay. It'll work out, I promise."_

 _"That's what they always say before something goes wrong," she reasoned in that same, monotone voice. "Like last time, when we were kits and Heatherstar got greencough."_

 _"It'll be fine, really," I murmured. But mostly to myself. Partly because I knew that Icetalon wouldn't listen anyway, and partly still because I might need it in the future._

 _I didn't have much of a future._

 _Just then, there was a rustle in the bushes so loud that even her stopped and glanced around nervously. "What was that?"_

 _I heard voices. Not like a cat, but lower and a whole lot noisier. "I dunno. Let's go look, might be prey. Come on!"_

 _"Sunblaze, I really don't think it's prey of any sort," she said uncertainly, but I was already heading through the tall grass. "It's fine, probably just a big fat rabbit we can catch for the clan. We'll never get enough of their praise then."_

 _She didn't answer, but I huffed in impatience. "Let's just go already!"_

 _She stood there, frozen, staring at something behind me. I turned around._

 _Paws. Long pass with no fur and short, stumpy claws. I leaped out of the way, screeching, "Run!" But she was already a whirl, a leaf on the breeze. Gone._

 _I followed her, but the creatures were catching up. Faster. I jumped over a log and landed in a mud ditch. Just keep running, don't mind if there's a hole in the ground or some mud or..._

 _"Look out!" Icetalon shrieked, and I skidded just before I fell, countless cat-lengths down a rushing ravine. There was screaming behind me, of the strange creatures. Kits, I supposed. Waving their paws in the air wildly and screeching things that no cat could understand._

 _They were catching up fast. I stared at the cliff before me, the boundary between Oakclan and Spruceclan. The line that had kept us all separate for countless moons..._

 _Shadows passed over me, dark and swift, and the last thing I saw before I hurtled to my death was Icetalon's horrified face, because I was an idiot, I did have a future, if I just wasn't so stupid and at least tried..._

* * *

"With this life, I give you motivation to live life, to see that dignity is not everything, to give it all a try."

Icetalon cocked her head, studying my gaze carefully.


	8. Know When You Need Help

**It's eight in the morning right now where I live... Dunno why I said that!**

* * *

I rushed forward when Icetalon almost fell, but she tottered backwards on three legs and glanced coldly at me, saying, "I don't need your help."

I smiled, almost painstakingly. "Wasn't that what they always told me?"

She lowered her gaze, and I reached forward to touch her forehead with my nose.

* * *

 _She told me that she didn't need my help._

 _I ran, tried to keep up, but she was always out of distance, smirking back at me, a game of Hunt the Mouse. With the Hunter failing badly. "But I love you!" I shouted._

 _She turned around, both coldness and amusement in her deep blue eyes. "Oh, the many things they tell me. But I know what you are, Graywater. Just another pretty stick that a kit is going to get bored of. Thrown away. Disposable."_

 _"But... No!" I protested. "This time it's real. I can-"_

 _"You can what?" Her gaze fixed on mine, a steely gaze. One that has seen everything. "You can what? Keep that question in mind."_

 _With that, she turned to leave, and I could only watch as she faded away, away into the distance like smoke rising to the heavens._

 _That was when I realized that I was the Mouse and not her._

 _OoOoO_

 _She was sitting in darkness the next time I saw her._

 _"Go away," she muttered weakly, but it was almost like... She had no energy left._

 _That was when I finally realized what I would have said. Sitting down, next to her soft, black fur, I whispered, "You need help."_

 _"I don't need YOUR help," she shot back, but I just smiled. "Yes, you do. What's happening lately? Why so gloomy?"_

 _She didn't answer, still glaring at me, and so I sighed and stood up from my place on the ground. "Fine, then. I'll leave, if that makes you happy."_

 _Something flashed at the edge of her mouth- a smile? But kid then it disappeared as soon as it had appeared. "I suppose I can sustain your arrogance for once..."_

* * *

"With this life, I give you the ability to know when you need help, acceptance," I meowed.

Icetalon looked at me suspiciously. "Was that related to me falling?"

"What do you mean?" I said casually, "after all... You only have one life left to gain. Be on your best."

With that, I leaned forward and touched her gently on the forehead, and she winced.

Nothing more.


	9. I Love You

**Here we are. The second-to-last chapter! *claps***

* * *

I bowed my head. "It is almost over. The pain you feel is only an illusion."

Icetalon looked startled for a moment, then shook her head and glared at me, although she was almost purring at the same time. "Let's speak cat from now on, shall we?"

I suddenly remembered how Flowerpaw used to taunt me like that. But she had a good heart, even though I was often a cold medicine cat. Cut off from the rest of the clans, and even my clan. I watched as Icetalon padded forward, eager to get it over with.

I bent down and felt her warm muzzle connect with mine, for just a second.

* * *

 _I thought I knew her._

 _She was the one in the sunny meadow, not knowing she played on a graveyard. She was the one dancing on the trees, looking down at her brother on the ground and saying, "Come on, you lazy furball!"_

 _She was the one that I loved most. Mothers aren't supposed to have favorites, especially not medicine cat mothers. But her blue eyes, gleaming like frost, her spirit, her glowing pelt like a sheet of ice. Her smile._

 _I never knew what kind of trouble it would bring._

 _I didn't know what happened, or what she was thinking. But all I know is that she will always be my favorite, no matter what she did. But mostly because she was truly part of me, something I never had. Sunkit wasn't mine, he never was, and will never be._

 _I never really knew him. But then again, I realized that I didn't know Flowerkit either, too late. I didn't truly have anyone left after she went on her own path._

 _Her own path, the one that she thought she was destined for. The one that both opened up and destroyed everything..._

* * *

"With this life, I give you... You," I said, at a lost for words. "Be yourself. Whatever else that's happening, pretend it's not real. Focus on who you truly are."

She gazed at me, concern in her voice. "You were thinking about something. I can read expressions very well, you know."

My blood turned to ice. "What- what do you mean?"

Icetalon was silent for a few moments. "You were thinking about someone. Someone you were close to but you thought you lost."

My claws unsheathed. "Who are you, really? Tell me!"

"Goldenbranch, listen," I heared another Forestclan cat say, but I could hardly hear him. "You betrayed me! I gave up everything for you, every thought that I had was in vain, for YOU!"

"Mother..." She began choking back tears. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough!" I shrieked. "Get her!" Someone tried to drag me away, but it was all a blur to me. There was a quick murmuring, a flash of silver and then I could see no more.

The last thing I heard before I fell unconscious was my own voice, muttering, "You little traitor... I... I love you."


	10. Epilogue

**Oh. My. Gods. This is my fifth completed story! Or did I count wrong? I probably counted wrong.**

* * *

I gazed at the Forestclan cats, eyeing Goldenbranch warily. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Don't worry about her," one of them murmured. I still wasn't entirely sure, but nodded briefly and turned away. "Then I shall go back to my clan. They need me."

"We understand," they all said in unison. "From now on, you will be no longer be called Icetalon, but known as Icestar. We look upon your progress to come."

"Thank you," I muttered, and the world became a blur, faster and faster, and even though somehow I wasn't dizzy, not in the least bit, it turned darker and darker still until it all faded away... "I will be the best leader I can be..."

There was a glint in my eye as I said the words.

* * *

Many, many moons later, there was a prophecy. There was a dark shape, the whispering of leaves on the breeze, and a tawny she-cat came out of the shadows. "Forestclan, I have come," she says. "What do you have to tell me?"

There was a murmur, and a whisper. "The fierce heat of the fire may melt the ice, but only the howls of the winter breeze can calm down the raging storm."

The tawny she-cat stared. "I... I don't understand. We need to defeat Icestar, don't we?"

The voice laughed, almost tauntingly. "Well, who do you trust? Which cat can you trust to follow you and obey you, yet be themselves at the same time?"

"Emberstrike," she said slowly, then remembered the prophecy. "You mean, he will defeat Icestar?"

"There are no certainties..."

* * *

The tom sank his claws in deeper. "You will never lay a claw on me," he growled.

The small, gray-blue she-cat struggled under his weight. "Maybe not, but I will never give up."

She was losing a life.

Not struggling, not fighting. She lay there, defeated but not defeated. "Do you remember, Emberstrike, what we used to do, in the meadow by the lake? What you took away from me?"

"Stop it! Stop it, I said!"

There was another voice, and Icestar turned around to see the bony shape of a black tom. "We can settle this in other ways."

Emberstrike pretended not to hear him. "This will be the death of her!"

The black tom glared at him. "Icestar. Do you remember me?"

"No," she croaked firmly. "I know no one in this clearing."

"What about the games we played under the sun?" He whispered. "Those memories you threw away. Our mother was right about you."

"I chose to be myself," she whispered, but he placed a paw on her muzzle. "Sleep."

* * *

and so she will awaken

never again

to see the sun

never again

to feel the stars rise

the moon shine

never to have

what she always wanted

to have someone

someone that cares

but she knows what her mother said

and will never forget:

I love you


End file.
